• There are some days like today where I just thank god I’m not on reality television and there’s no one documenting all the stupid shit I say. Live in my memory of embarrassment but not on the Internet. Thank you.

  • Pour your wine, it’s Bachelorette time! (almost rhymes)

    My Bachelorette running commentary is so sporadic. Apologies to the 4 people reading this (hi mom)! Emily + 6 head to Prague this week. There will be kissing. Dudes starting to cry. Arie dated a producer. Get your “oh no he didn’t!” face ready ladies.

    ~~Show opens on a shot of Emily closing some windows. Sure hope that’s not a metaphor for her closing her heart to love (I really read into this show).

    ~~Uh oh, Tour Guide Barbie is on the prowl again this week. Put down the Frommer’s Emily!

    ~~Is “brief relationship” Bachelorette code for “banged once”??

    ~~Emily is being so passive-aggressive. Just ask him about it, good lord. 

    ~~About 40% of the time, a “surprise” on this show = make-out fireworks.

    ~~I cannot tell you one interesting thing about this John. I don’t think Emily could either. Snorefest.

    ~~This date is in a dungeon. Foreshadowing at it’s finest.

    ~~Sean goes out searching for Emily on the streets of Prague. Clue, she’s the one with the lights and camera crew following her around.

    ~~“Doug is so nice” – meaning “Doug is creepy as shit but the producers made me keep him for one more week”

    ~~I can’t decide if dude limo cry is sadder than runny-mascara chick limo cry on the Bachelor. Ok, definitely dude limo cry. Get it together Dougie!

    ~~“Jef would be a great dad cause he’s a big kid himself” – not really a good feature for being a father.

    ~~OMG isn’t too early in their relationship for a therapy session? They are acting out their feelings through marionettes. Ok. fine, it’s adorable.

    ~~Jef: “I want to date you so hard and marry the fuck out of you.” - actually terribly romantic. God I love him.

    ~~“We’re in a library and we can still have fun, hahahahaha” –Emily and Jef

    ~~Ahhhh Chris, I can smell your desperation through the TV.  Smellovision.

    ~~No surprise the guy with the terrible nickname got sent home. The most (un)dramatic rose ceremony ever.

    ~~Next week – Jef’s parents won’t meet Emily = super good call.

    THE END!

  • No energy for full running commentary on the Bachelorette this week. Most of the episode was spent making sure my kitten wasn’t chewing on a power cord somewhere, but HOLY HELL what was up with Emily’s horrific ponytail extension? Cringing the whole way through the rose ceremony.

  • I love this show.

  • It’s funny where I draw my ethical guidelines - I refuse to watch 16 & Pregnant because I think it’s terrible to glamorize teen pregnancy. But Toddlers and Tiaras… just love. These little girls try so hard and the moms are so delusional, how can you not watch this mess?
"I do not like hogs!" Me either girlfriend.

    It’s funny where I draw my ethical guidelines - I refuse to watch 16 & Pregnant because I think it’s terrible to glamorize teen pregnancy. But Toddlers and Tiaras… just love. These little girls try so hard and the moms are so delusional, how can you not watch this mess?

    "I do not like hogs!" Me either girlfriend.

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